We've been home for four days now. Joshua has been to the playground twice, met our playgroup, gone strawberry picking to the rodeo. Hope he doesn't think every day is going to be this exciting.
We were so happy to get home Saturday night. When we walked in the door, Joshua was a little apprehensive when he saw Shadow. A few minutes later, when he saw Sunny, he screamed and yelled "Lao hu, lao hu!" (Tiger, tiger!) They are gradually coming to an understanding. The cats try to stay out of his way (but near me, a delicate balancing act), and if they come near Joshua, he screams "Hi" at them. (and they run for their lives)
We are close to getting on this time zone. Last night both kids went to sleep around 8 and slept through the night til I woke them at 8:30am. John and I woke up in the middle of the night and had trouble going back to sleep, but we'll see how tonight goes.
As for sleeping arrangements, both kids are sleeping on the floor of our bedroom, on John's side (where there's more room) and I'm sleeping on John's side of the bed, so they can see me. If they sleep through the night tonight, we're going to try their room tomorrow night. It would be so nice to have our room back, but I'm not going to get my hopes up yet!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
We're home
Very long day. Airplane trip from hell (apologies for my language). I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Must sleep now.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Bu yao
Two things I never want to hear again in Mandarin: Bu yao (don't want) and Ge wo (Give me). I think Xiaozi says those two things more than everything else put together. I know he only has a few words and phrases that he knows we'll understand... But still, I'll be a happy woman if I never hear those two again.
He has added "More" and ""Please" to his sign language repetoire. Now we need to work on "Thank you". He's understanding more and more of what we say. Frighteningly smart. Still yelling "Hi" and Bye-bye to anyone who will listen.
Today, joy of joys, the sun came out for the first time in days. It was so clear you could see mountains in the distance. And the temp. went up into the high sixties. For our group tour, we went to a beautiful gardens. (I'll post pictures tomorrow) Xiaozi happily stayed in the stroller for most of the visit, and didn't freak out too much when someone other than Mama pushed the stroller. He loved it when Allie would push, and race him into the back of Daddy's legs with a crash. Daddy got tired of that after four or five good hits. Xiaozi also sat in a bus seat with Allie with Mama and Daddy behind them. Awesome! They are behaving like any brother and sister, arguing over toys, parents' attention, etc. But Xiaozi is starting to relax around the rest of the family, not just Mama. I even left John and the two kids in the White Swan playroom and did a little shopping on my own. Heaven! It was such a beautiful day, I went back early and dragged them all to the playground. This time, Xiaozi climbed up the steps and went down the slide. Over and over, and over. Stood his ground when bigger kids tried to push him out of the way, refused to hold Allie's hand while going down the slide... Happy as a clam.
Tomorrow we head to his orphanage. I don't know what to expect. Will he think we're bringing him back to stay? And will that make him happy or sad? Will he be glad when we all leave together? Should make for an interesting day.
Must go to sleep. Yesterday we got totally off our normal schedule and the kids didn't nap til 3:30pm. They didn't go to sleep that night until 10:30pm and they were up at 7am. Mommy and Daddy need more sleep than that.
Gaylynn, John wants to know if you have a hi def DVD player, Blu ray or just a normal DVD player!
Erik and TC, we'll call you when we get home, before you leave. It will be nice having time to bond with your new little one, without the demands of Jie-jie!
Miss you all!
He has added "More" and ""Please" to his sign language repetoire. Now we need to work on "Thank you". He's understanding more and more of what we say. Frighteningly smart. Still yelling "Hi" and Bye-bye to anyone who will listen.
Today, joy of joys, the sun came out for the first time in days. It was so clear you could see mountains in the distance. And the temp. went up into the high sixties. For our group tour, we went to a beautiful gardens. (I'll post pictures tomorrow) Xiaozi happily stayed in the stroller for most of the visit, and didn't freak out too much when someone other than Mama pushed the stroller. He loved it when Allie would push, and race him into the back of Daddy's legs with a crash. Daddy got tired of that after four or five good hits. Xiaozi also sat in a bus seat with Allie with Mama and Daddy behind them. Awesome! They are behaving like any brother and sister, arguing over toys, parents' attention, etc. But Xiaozi is starting to relax around the rest of the family, not just Mama. I even left John and the two kids in the White Swan playroom and did a little shopping on my own. Heaven! It was such a beautiful day, I went back early and dragged them all to the playground. This time, Xiaozi climbed up the steps and went down the slide. Over and over, and over. Stood his ground when bigger kids tried to push him out of the way, refused to hold Allie's hand while going down the slide... Happy as a clam.
Tomorrow we head to his orphanage. I don't know what to expect. Will he think we're bringing him back to stay? And will that make him happy or sad? Will he be glad when we all leave together? Should make for an interesting day.
Must go to sleep. Yesterday we got totally off our normal schedule and the kids didn't nap til 3:30pm. They didn't go to sleep that night until 10:30pm and they were up at 7am. Mommy and Daddy need more sleep than that.
Gaylynn, John wants to know if you have a hi def DVD player, Blu ray or just a normal DVD player!
Erik and TC, we'll call you when we get home, before you leave. It will be nice having time to bond with your new little one, without the demands of Jie-jie!
Miss you all!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
So how ya been?
John again. Currently waiting for pics to upload on shutterfly so you have my undivided attention for the next few minutes. So hi! Anything interesting going on? Nothing much here. Couple of willful pre-schoolers who can't communicate verbally with each other and probably wouldn't even if they could. Oh yeah, and we can't use tap water. That really sucks. Thankfully we don't have to worry about boiling water for a baby bottle several times a day like last time with Allie. That was not fun. But we've managed to go through about 5 toothbrushes thus far. We had been putting a towel over the faucet to remind ourselves not to use it, but even so we manage to. It's become common place enough that when one of us is in the other room and hears cursing from the bathroom, we'll say 'use the toothbrush in the sink again?'. Good thing they restock the toiletries daily.
Joshua has now settled in well enough that he's become a brat. That's a very important developmental step that we could really do without, thank you very much. But he's now comfortable enough around Dianne that he's whining constantly and trying to get her to do things for him just because he can. So we've started backing off on that. My guess is that the kiddos don't get so much of the whole "do, don't do" at the orphanages besides the major rule infractions or things of a safety nature. So one of today's big issues was when Dianne asked Joshua not to run his Lightning McQueen car "Lightna ta-ta" (love that) over the top of the glass case housing a stunning 6 foot wide scale model of Guangzhou. He stops. Then he looks around and does it again. He gets another warning. Then with a slight smile on his face, he does it again. Standard toddler/pre-schooler behavior. So he gets the car taken away from him. This displeases him. To his credit he doesn't throw a tantrum (those are reserved for when Daddy does something intrusive like try to touch him), but I find out later after climbing all 5 stories of this Gate/Museum Thingy (I believe that's the official name for it) with Allie ("no, Daddy's not carrying you up. You want to see it, you climb the stairs"), that he's been sulking for 20 minutes. Rock on Dianne for standing your ground. Kinda tricky to do that when it's a newly adopted child who may or may not have bonding issues. But when he's bonded well enough to pout, I think we're on solid ground to call him on it.
But of course disciplining your adopted child while in a public place in China is just oh so comfortable and fun of a thing to do. No pressure of people staring at you and wondering what on earth you're doing to the poor child or anything. I'd be better off if I could not try to imagine what other people are thinking, but I'm just wired that way I guess. Happy Fun Times #2 today was at lunch when we did musical chairs about 3 times trying to get a workable arrangement of children and adults at a communal table with our travel group. Started out with Joshua in between Allie and an older kid from one of the other families and of course Joshua proceeded to mess with all of his stuff. Well that's not going to work. Okay, switch Joshua and me, so now he's between Dianne and Nai Nai. Commence whining. Okay, let's give Dianne a break. Switch me and Dianne. Escalate whining. Calmly inform him that I'm not going to switch. Commence gut-wrenching screaming. Yeah kid, I'm calling your bluff on this one. You know who your family is, you're just not getting your way. You're not in pain, you're not in danger, you get to deal with it. Food comes out, and Daddy puts a bit of Something on a Stick (it said so on the menu) in front of him and "bu you" so we try Indeterminate Meat-Based Blob #83 (they have very innovative food names here) in front of him and "bu you". Okay fine. Along comes Random Stuff With Noodles (okay, I made that one up) and that's a sure fire thing. Kiddo always likes noodles. "Bu you" Okay, fine. To quote Disney's Beauty and the Beast(tm): "Then go ahead and STARVE!!! If he doesn't eat with me, he doesn't eat period!" So I proceed to go ahead and eat and ignore him. That's what loving parents do, right? Especially loving parents who have never held their child when he's not screaming. Anyway, I digress. Roll ahead 30 minutes and he's finished off 3 Stick Foods and has moved on to the noodles (ha! Knew it!) and proceeds to sullenly finish off his food. Then he talks to me. Ooooh! (Random 3 year old whine in Mandarin) "what?" (Same whine repeated) "You need to go potty?" (That's standard parent response #3) to which he nods and raises his hands up to me! Hey! It's finally happening! I pick him up and then he immediately says "Mama somethingsomethingwhinesomething" and I hand him over thinking that he needs to go potty. No, he just wants Mama to hold him. Well played, kid. Got me with that one.
So obviously if these are the worst problems that we face in the day then things are really going just fine and we should just be quiet and be very thankful for what we have. On the scale of 1-10 little to big problems, this like a 2.5. But it is tiring.
Oh, and one more thing before they kick me out... (pictures finished about 15 minutes ago, but you're such a good listener, I just couldn't help myself) We borrowed a stroller today and hoped against hope that he'd ride in it so Dianne could catch a break. And he did. So we go to Subway for that authentic Guangzhou dining experience, and he's happy in his stroller so we give him 1/4 of a sandwhich which he takes two bites of and promptly drops on the ground accidentally. Well nuts. So we take off the side that landed on the ground and tell him to get up to the table and come eat so he doesn't drop it again. "Bu you" Now he doesn't want to get out of the stroller. From won't get in a stroller to won't get out of the stroller in 5 minutes. Again, well played,kiddo.
Joshua has now settled in well enough that he's become a brat. That's a very important developmental step that we could really do without, thank you very much. But he's now comfortable enough around Dianne that he's whining constantly and trying to get her to do things for him just because he can. So we've started backing off on that. My guess is that the kiddos don't get so much of the whole "do, don't do" at the orphanages besides the major rule infractions or things of a safety nature. So one of today's big issues was when Dianne asked Joshua not to run his Lightning McQueen car "Lightna ta-ta" (love that) over the top of the glass case housing a stunning 6 foot wide scale model of Guangzhou. He stops. Then he looks around and does it again. He gets another warning. Then with a slight smile on his face, he does it again. Standard toddler/pre-schooler behavior. So he gets the car taken away from him. This displeases him. To his credit he doesn't throw a tantrum (those are reserved for when Daddy does something intrusive like try to touch him), but I find out later after climbing all 5 stories of this Gate/Museum Thingy (I believe that's the official name for it) with Allie ("no, Daddy's not carrying you up. You want to see it, you climb the stairs"), that he's been sulking for 20 minutes. Rock on Dianne for standing your ground. Kinda tricky to do that when it's a newly adopted child who may or may not have bonding issues. But when he's bonded well enough to pout, I think we're on solid ground to call him on it.
But of course disciplining your adopted child while in a public place in China is just oh so comfortable and fun of a thing to do. No pressure of people staring at you and wondering what on earth you're doing to the poor child or anything. I'd be better off if I could not try to imagine what other people are thinking, but I'm just wired that way I guess. Happy Fun Times #2 today was at lunch when we did musical chairs about 3 times trying to get a workable arrangement of children and adults at a communal table with our travel group. Started out with Joshua in between Allie and an older kid from one of the other families and of course Joshua proceeded to mess with all of his stuff. Well that's not going to work. Okay, switch Joshua and me, so now he's between Dianne and Nai Nai. Commence whining. Okay, let's give Dianne a break. Switch me and Dianne. Escalate whining. Calmly inform him that I'm not going to switch. Commence gut-wrenching screaming. Yeah kid, I'm calling your bluff on this one. You know who your family is, you're just not getting your way. You're not in pain, you're not in danger, you get to deal with it. Food comes out, and Daddy puts a bit of Something on a Stick (it said so on the menu) in front of him and "bu you" so we try Indeterminate Meat-Based Blob #83 (they have very innovative food names here) in front of him and "bu you". Okay fine. Along comes Random Stuff With Noodles (okay, I made that one up) and that's a sure fire thing. Kiddo always likes noodles. "Bu you" Okay, fine. To quote Disney's Beauty and the Beast(tm): "Then go ahead and STARVE!!! If he doesn't eat with me, he doesn't eat period!" So I proceed to go ahead and eat and ignore him. That's what loving parents do, right? Especially loving parents who have never held their child when he's not screaming. Anyway, I digress. Roll ahead 30 minutes and he's finished off 3 Stick Foods and has moved on to the noodles (ha! Knew it!) and proceeds to sullenly finish off his food. Then he talks to me. Ooooh! (Random 3 year old whine in Mandarin) "what?" (Same whine repeated) "You need to go potty?" (That's standard parent response #3) to which he nods and raises his hands up to me! Hey! It's finally happening! I pick him up and then he immediately says "Mama somethingsomethingwhinesomething" and I hand him over thinking that he needs to go potty. No, he just wants Mama to hold him. Well played, kid. Got me with that one.
So obviously if these are the worst problems that we face in the day then things are really going just fine and we should just be quiet and be very thankful for what we have. On the scale of 1-10 little to big problems, this like a 2.5. But it is tiring.
Oh, and one more thing before they kick me out... (pictures finished about 15 minutes ago, but you're such a good listener, I just couldn't help myself) We borrowed a stroller today and hoped against hope that he'd ride in it so Dianne could catch a break. And he did. So we go to Subway for that authentic Guangzhou dining experience, and he's happy in his stroller so we give him 1/4 of a sandwhich which he takes two bites of and promptly drops on the ground accidentally. Well nuts. So we take off the side that landed on the ground and tell him to get up to the table and come eat so he doesn't drop it again. "Bu you" Now he doesn't want to get out of the stroller. From won't get in a stroller to won't get out of the stroller in 5 minutes. Again, well played,kiddo.
New pics uploading
Get 'em while they're hot! Still have that new internet smell.
As an aside, with as speedy as uploads to shutterfly are over here, I think it'd be cheaper to print pictures locally and mail them to everyone. But that would require effort. We like lazy.
As an aside, with as speedy as uploads to shutterfly are over here, I think it'd be cheaper to print pictures locally and mail them to everyone. But that would require effort. We like lazy.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I'm currently all that stands between Dianne and a stiff drink in the bar, so I'll keep this one brief. There's a radical difference in how close we are with our travel group this time than with the Nanning group. The people we're with this time are very nice, but we're on more of a cordial basis with them and not really hanging out. That's probably largely due to being at the White Swan and how busy it is and not being all on the same floor, etc. We do run into them from time to time around the island, but in more of a "oh hey, how ya doin?" sort of way than hugs and kisses. Probably also the lack of the Helsinki Syndrome thing that we had in Nanning. Misery and stress forge strong bonds, right? :-)
Anyway, in as non-gushy a way as possible, I really want to thank our Nanning travel group for the wonderful memories and the great times we've had since. We just don't seem to have the same sense of shared experience with this group that we did the first time. Maybe that was because the kids were all so close in age or that we hung out at the elevators on our floor or that we're just not making as much of an effort this time around. Dunno. Or maybe the high fever I was running the first time boiled my brain a little more than I thought. Was hoping for more of the same this time around, but not working that way. Regardless, the connection I felt with our travel group the first time around really made the experience all the more rich and I'm really glad it worked out that way.
Can't wait to see you guys later this year and when we get back, I'll begin in earnest my campaign for a group Disney Cruise in 2010... You have been warned. :-)
Anyway, in as non-gushy a way as possible, I really want to thank our Nanning travel group for the wonderful memories and the great times we've had since. We just don't seem to have the same sense of shared experience with this group that we did the first time. Maybe that was because the kids were all so close in age or that we hung out at the elevators on our floor or that we're just not making as much of an effort this time around. Dunno. Or maybe the high fever I was running the first time boiled my brain a little more than I thought. Was hoping for more of the same this time around, but not working that way. Regardless, the connection I felt with our travel group the first time around really made the experience all the more rich and I'm really glad it worked out that way.
Can't wait to see you guys later this year and when we get back, I'll begin in earnest my campaign for a group Disney Cruise in 2010... You have been warned. :-)
Language issues
We're making some progress on the language front. He signed "more" and said "more" today for the first time. He also said "mouse", "hi," "bye-bye," and "Allie." Mommy and Daddy are getting more proficient at Mandarin. Our Chinese teacher will be impressed at all the animals we know. Xiao Zi gets very excited when we pass the picture of the "lao hu" (tiger) on the way to breakfast. I guess that could be as much that we're getting ready to eat as seeing the tiger itself...
Today he and Allie nearly fell into the water shouting "hi" at the fish. The fish must not have been fed for a while, because they were right on the surface of the water, coming to say "hi" back. Xiao Zi also let Nai-nai pick him up to look at the birds in the lobby of the hotel. He still doesn't want anyone but Mama carrying him, and he still won't ride in a stroller, but we're making progress.
He is all boy. In the playroom today, he loved throwing balls, climbing on the furniture, trying to take toys apart to see how they worked, and leaping off furniture. He would leap off the bench into my arms, and asked to do it over and over. Shows that he trusts me pretty well. Or did. I'll have to check and see if the bath changed his feelings about leaping to me. : )
He is MUCH more patient, and neat while eating, than his big sister is. Tonight we waited about an hour for dinner (once we had been seated). He played quietly, banged his spoon against his bowl, smiled, drew on some paper, and the tablecloth, while Allie looked like an escapee from a local nuthouse. He also eats with his spoon (as opposed to Allie who has been eating most of her meals with her fingers, although she does try her chopsticks sometimes, and she's getting good at it!) He gets upset if he spills a drop on the tablecloth. He tried to hide a small drop with his bowl. He also wipes his hands if he gets any food on them. Allie's place at the table (and the floor under it) usually look like some wild animal has somehow gotten into the restaurant and grabbed some food while no one was looking.
Despite all that, I miss my baby, my Allie. I never knew that your arms could physically ache from not getting to hold someone. Yesterday I started crying because I miss her so much. I hope Xiao Zi will get used to John pretty soon, so Allie and I can have some Mama time.
I don't think John and I have gotten to say more than about 10 sentences to each other in the past week. I miss him too. I miss my bed, my friends, my kitties, the phone, being able to brush my teeth with tap water... Can't wait to get home.
Today he and Allie nearly fell into the water shouting "hi" at the fish. The fish must not have been fed for a while, because they were right on the surface of the water, coming to say "hi" back. Xiao Zi also let Nai-nai pick him up to look at the birds in the lobby of the hotel. He still doesn't want anyone but Mama carrying him, and he still won't ride in a stroller, but we're making progress.
He is all boy. In the playroom today, he loved throwing balls, climbing on the furniture, trying to take toys apart to see how they worked, and leaping off furniture. He would leap off the bench into my arms, and asked to do it over and over. Shows that he trusts me pretty well. Or did. I'll have to check and see if the bath changed his feelings about leaping to me. : )
He is MUCH more patient, and neat while eating, than his big sister is. Tonight we waited about an hour for dinner (once we had been seated). He played quietly, banged his spoon against his bowl, smiled, drew on some paper, and the tablecloth, while Allie looked like an escapee from a local nuthouse. He also eats with his spoon (as opposed to Allie who has been eating most of her meals with her fingers, although she does try her chopsticks sometimes, and she's getting good at it!) He gets upset if he spills a drop on the tablecloth. He tried to hide a small drop with his bowl. He also wipes his hands if he gets any food on them. Allie's place at the table (and the floor under it) usually look like some wild animal has somehow gotten into the restaurant and grabbed some food while no one was looking.
Despite all that, I miss my baby, my Allie. I never knew that your arms could physically ache from not getting to hold someone. Yesterday I started crying because I miss her so much. I hope Xiao Zi will get used to John pretty soon, so Allie and I can have some Mama time.
I don't think John and I have gotten to say more than about 10 sentences to each other in the past week. I miss him too. I miss my bed, my friends, my kitties, the phone, being able to brush my teeth with tap water... Can't wait to get home.
Highs and Lows
It was actually cold today. As in the nice older ladies that always stop Americans on the street and ask " good Lord why don't you have that child bundled in several more layers?" have a really good point. Should have brought more long sleeve shirts. Oh well, at least *I* have two pair of jeans. : )
Before I forget, Joyce, his hair is definitely brown, not black. And his eyes are dark brown, but again, noticeably lighter than Allie's. The Chinese seem to think he's terribly handsome, because of the big eyes. I'm really hoping that's not a western influence thing... (ie. "Asian" eyes are not pretty, but "Western" eyes are.) Surely that way of thinking hasn't completely permeated Chinese society, has it?
Today Xiao Zi really started coming out of his shell. In the playroom, he romped with Allie and John, throwing balls, climbing on furniture, etc. without once giving John the "Who is that scary man?" look.
Then we took him for his medical exam. With Allie, that was one big screaming match, starting with the minute we took her clothes off to be weighed. So we were expecting something similar with Xiao Zi. However, Mr. Charming decided this would be a good time to reveal his full personality. He was playing peek-a-boo with the nurses, yelling "Hi" at anyone who walked by, playing with all the toys in the waiting room, batting his long eyelashes at everyone, etc. One doctor actually called us back into her room to play with him. All of the doctors commented on how handsome he is, how big his eyes are, and how intelligent they think he is. A three year old con man. He is MUCH bigger than I had expected. I don't know what they fed him during the seven months from his last weigh in until now, but he weighs almost 27 pounds, and he's 35 1/2 inches tall. Most of the 24 month clothes we brought fit him, but 2T things are on the short side.
Now for the low, John and I have both mentioned that he has a pathological reaction to rain, right? Well, we had put off giving him a bath for almost a week now, because when we fill the tub for Allie, he repeats "Bu yao" (Don't want) over and over. Well tonight I filled the tub with about 4 inches of water and 3 inches of bubbles, and plopped him in. Have any of you ever burned yourself with boiling water? That's what you would have thought I was putting this kid into. He screamed and cried and cried some more, all the while looking at me with this "Mommy, why are you doing this to me?" look. I gave up on the idea of washing his hair. What the heck could have happened to him that makes him feel this way about water? We'll just have sponge baths til we get home, at least.
Before I forget, Joyce, his hair is definitely brown, not black. And his eyes are dark brown, but again, noticeably lighter than Allie's. The Chinese seem to think he's terribly handsome, because of the big eyes. I'm really hoping that's not a western influence thing... (ie. "Asian" eyes are not pretty, but "Western" eyes are.) Surely that way of thinking hasn't completely permeated Chinese society, has it?
Today Xiao Zi really started coming out of his shell. In the playroom, he romped with Allie and John, throwing balls, climbing on furniture, etc. without once giving John the "Who is that scary man?" look.
Then we took him for his medical exam. With Allie, that was one big screaming match, starting with the minute we took her clothes off to be weighed. So we were expecting something similar with Xiao Zi. However, Mr. Charming decided this would be a good time to reveal his full personality. He was playing peek-a-boo with the nurses, yelling "Hi" at anyone who walked by, playing with all the toys in the waiting room, batting his long eyelashes at everyone, etc. One doctor actually called us back into her room to play with him. All of the doctors commented on how handsome he is, how big his eyes are, and how intelligent they think he is. A three year old con man. He is MUCH bigger than I had expected. I don't know what they fed him during the seven months from his last weigh in until now, but he weighs almost 27 pounds, and he's 35 1/2 inches tall. Most of the 24 month clothes we brought fit him, but 2T things are on the short side.
Now for the low, John and I have both mentioned that he has a pathological reaction to rain, right? Well, we had put off giving him a bath for almost a week now, because when we fill the tub for Allie, he repeats "Bu yao" (Don't want) over and over. Well tonight I filled the tub with about 4 inches of water and 3 inches of bubbles, and plopped him in. Have any of you ever burned yourself with boiling water? That's what you would have thought I was putting this kid into. He screamed and cried and cried some more, all the while looking at me with this "Mommy, why are you doing this to me?" look. I gave up on the idea of washing his hair. What the heck could have happened to him that makes him feel this way about water? We'll just have sponge baths til we get home, at least.
Friday, March 6, 2009
What day is it?
John again. I hear from reputable sources that today is Friday. I've yet to have that sufficiently proven to me, but let's run with it. Xiao Zi continues to be remarkably cute, which is of course a requirement for our family, so good thing that worked out. He's continuing to come out of his shell other than the whole not wanting to have anything to do with me bit. And that's really not entirely true. He'll take food from me and he'll share back to me and smile at me for a bit until he realizes what he's doing. Again, I'm not in a rush. 5 days down and many many years to go. One day he'll magically decide that I'm okay to have around and it'll be like he's always been comfortable around me.
I believe that as of today we have now shopped at every store in Guangzhou and will begin making the second round. Good thing that the kids also get a full luggage alotment for the trip home since we'll probably need 4-5 extra suitcases at this point. And a porter. Guess we'd better buy an airline ticket for him also. Since the shops on the island largely have the same items, we've done well at making friends by looking at what we want to get, keeping in mind a few things that we want to get in the future, and effectively buying something at just about every store here. And that's a little easier than it's been in the past with far fewer stores. The adoption slow down has apparently not been kind to the tourist economy on the island.
We went to the pearl market today (whatever it's called, it's that 8 story mall thingy that's nothing but bulk-rate jewelry) and while Dianne leaned over to look at some pearl earrings, I escaped with Allie (she's my new appendage) to the interesting part of the shopping area. Allie did an excellent job spotting the video store we were looking for (we've raised her well) after the mall directory was not entirely useful for the more illiterate among us, and I picked up a copy of Kung Fu Dragon and asked the nice lady if it was in Mandarin. She said that it wouldn't play on my player (in the words of Allie: "I know that!") and I was formulating a detailed argument based around DVD emulation, ripping, and burning on a computer, when she took me further back in the store and said they had the ones that would play on my player back there. Perhaps I'm not the first American she's had in the store. I confirmed that they had Mandarin language and she tried not to look too condecending while assuring me they did and opened up a drawer and showed me a whole bunch of wrapped kid movies (in boxes, not the ziplog baggie ones you normally see) and they pretty much had everything. In a drawer. For about $2.25 each. Yeah, those aren't pirated. Anyway, I graciously helped out the local underground DVD network and picked up 8 movies (Nemo, Incredibles, Cars, Mulan II, Toy Story, some Barbie Christmas thing, and a couple of others I forget) for 128 yuan or about $18. So we'll be able to get a jump start on Xiao Zi's education and make sure he can hold his own in movie trivia games with the other 3 year olds.
Allie had a bit of an off day today. When the hopping up and down starts before we even leave the room, you know it's going to be a good day. Tantrums: Morning in room, at breakfast over which chair to sit in, on the bus to the market, after lunch (that was an epic one spanning 3 floors and both our rooms), after naptime, at the playground, at dinner (another great one), and some general fussiness at bedtime. Sweet. The dinner one was particularly fun because it involved me sitting outside the restaurant on the street holding Allie while she kicked and screamed and said the usual assorted hateful things. I was quite concious of passersby looking at me and likely thinking "another kid who doesn't want to be adopted" or such and to each one of them I felt like explaining, no this one knows us very well, it's just one of those days.
Xiao Zi hasn't really had any non weather-related screaming fits in a couple of days. And it's very cool how comfortable he's become with Mama and while he may or may not know what a mother actually is, she's the one who takes care of him and carries him and holds him and kisses him. So whether he knows the term, he now knows what it means to have a mama. And that's pretty cool to watch. Dianne will unfortunately be confined to a wheelchair in a matter of a couple of days if the kiddo won't let her put him down occasionally, but isn't that what parenting is all about? He's so sweet with her and has bonded so well that you can tell he was taken *very* good care of. Maybe he had a little extra attention when he was little due to the foot surgery at 6 months old or maybe the fact that he's the Cutest Boy in the World (the Cutest Child in the World title has now required a gender split) and everyone doted on him at the orphanage, but he's pretty well adjusted all in all and a very happy kid. There will of course be the yelling and the screaming and the hitting and the blood later on down the road, but we continue to be blessed with some pretty great kids.
So since that's all going well, I think it's time to mess things up and force Daddy on him a little more and see if we can't get Mama a little bit of a break. She misses her little Boo and doesn't get to spend much time with her. Stay tuned for how that works out. A hint: There will be screaming involved.
I believe that as of today we have now shopped at every store in Guangzhou and will begin making the second round. Good thing that the kids also get a full luggage alotment for the trip home since we'll probably need 4-5 extra suitcases at this point. And a porter. Guess we'd better buy an airline ticket for him also. Since the shops on the island largely have the same items, we've done well at making friends by looking at what we want to get, keeping in mind a few things that we want to get in the future, and effectively buying something at just about every store here. And that's a little easier than it's been in the past with far fewer stores. The adoption slow down has apparently not been kind to the tourist economy on the island.
We went to the pearl market today (whatever it's called, it's that 8 story mall thingy that's nothing but bulk-rate jewelry) and while Dianne leaned over to look at some pearl earrings, I escaped with Allie (she's my new appendage) to the interesting part of the shopping area. Allie did an excellent job spotting the video store we were looking for (we've raised her well) after the mall directory was not entirely useful for the more illiterate among us, and I picked up a copy of Kung Fu Dragon and asked the nice lady if it was in Mandarin. She said that it wouldn't play on my player (in the words of Allie: "I know that!") and I was formulating a detailed argument based around DVD emulation, ripping, and burning on a computer, when she took me further back in the store and said they had the ones that would play on my player back there. Perhaps I'm not the first American she's had in the store. I confirmed that they had Mandarin language and she tried not to look too condecending while assuring me they did and opened up a drawer and showed me a whole bunch of wrapped kid movies (in boxes, not the ziplog baggie ones you normally see) and they pretty much had everything. In a drawer. For about $2.25 each. Yeah, those aren't pirated. Anyway, I graciously helped out the local underground DVD network and picked up 8 movies (Nemo, Incredibles, Cars, Mulan II, Toy Story, some Barbie Christmas thing, and a couple of others I forget) for 128 yuan or about $18. So we'll be able to get a jump start on Xiao Zi's education and make sure he can hold his own in movie trivia games with the other 3 year olds.
Allie had a bit of an off day today. When the hopping up and down starts before we even leave the room, you know it's going to be a good day. Tantrums: Morning in room, at breakfast over which chair to sit in, on the bus to the market, after lunch (that was an epic one spanning 3 floors and both our rooms), after naptime, at the playground, at dinner (another great one), and some general fussiness at bedtime. Sweet. The dinner one was particularly fun because it involved me sitting outside the restaurant on the street holding Allie while she kicked and screamed and said the usual assorted hateful things. I was quite concious of passersby looking at me and likely thinking "another kid who doesn't want to be adopted" or such and to each one of them I felt like explaining, no this one knows us very well, it's just one of those days.
Xiao Zi hasn't really had any non weather-related screaming fits in a couple of days. And it's very cool how comfortable he's become with Mama and while he may or may not know what a mother actually is, she's the one who takes care of him and carries him and holds him and kisses him. So whether he knows the term, he now knows what it means to have a mama. And that's pretty cool to watch. Dianne will unfortunately be confined to a wheelchair in a matter of a couple of days if the kiddo won't let her put him down occasionally, but isn't that what parenting is all about? He's so sweet with her and has bonded so well that you can tell he was taken *very* good care of. Maybe he had a little extra attention when he was little due to the foot surgery at 6 months old or maybe the fact that he's the Cutest Boy in the World (the Cutest Child in the World title has now required a gender split) and everyone doted on him at the orphanage, but he's pretty well adjusted all in all and a very happy kid. There will of course be the yelling and the screaming and the hitting and the blood later on down the road, but we continue to be blessed with some pretty great kids.
So since that's all going well, I think it's time to mess things up and force Daddy on him a little more and see if we can't get Mama a little bit of a break. She misses her little Boo and doesn't get to spend much time with her. Stay tuned for how that works out. A hint: There will be screaming involved.
It's pronounced "Xiao Zi"
(John again)
I was trying to think how to explain the pronunciation of his name and all that would come to me was "well, it's got the 'iao' in there so it sounds like that" so while that means I may actually be making some progress on thinking in Mandarin, that not actually useful to anyone. So, let me stumble through explaining and I'll know that sound in the distance is TC & Erik laughing as they watch me try...
It's actually pretty straight forward: The 'X' is a 'sh' sound and the 'iao' is an 'ow' (as in ouch) sound so put them together and it's like chow with a 'sh' at the begining. And it's one sylable, so 'show' (with the ow as in ouch, not as in 'o') is pretty close. And I can't off hand remember the tone, but I think it's third tone which is an abrubt/downward sound like ending a sentence with a period.
'Zi' is a bit trickier and I don't think I really know how to say it well and no matter how many times I hear our guide say it, I'm not replicating it well. Which is sort of pathetic given how simple of a sound it is, but she also has a few year more immersion in the language than I have. Anyway, I think it has a tiny bit of a 't' sound at the beginning of it (or is that 'zh'?) so I'm saying it as a 'ts' sound. Basically do a 'z' sound and just tap your tounge against your teeth when you start it. And the 'i' is as in ship, but pretty clipped. Probably also third tone.
So 'Show' as in 'ow' and then 'tsi'. Man, words are hard to communicate something that needs to be heard.
Okay, so 'Joshua' is pronounced....
I was trying to think how to explain the pronunciation of his name and all that would come to me was "well, it's got the 'iao' in there so it sounds like that" so while that means I may actually be making some progress on thinking in Mandarin, that not actually useful to anyone. So, let me stumble through explaining and I'll know that sound in the distance is TC & Erik laughing as they watch me try...
It's actually pretty straight forward: The 'X' is a 'sh' sound and the 'iao' is an 'ow' (as in ouch) sound so put them together and it's like chow with a 'sh' at the begining. And it's one sylable, so 'show' (with the ow as in ouch, not as in 'o') is pretty close. And I can't off hand remember the tone, but I think it's third tone which is an abrubt/downward sound like ending a sentence with a period.
'Zi' is a bit trickier and I don't think I really know how to say it well and no matter how many times I hear our guide say it, I'm not replicating it well. Which is sort of pathetic given how simple of a sound it is, but she also has a few year more immersion in the language than I have. Anyway, I think it has a tiny bit of a 't' sound at the beginning of it (or is that 'zh'?) so I'm saying it as a 'ts' sound. Basically do a 'z' sound and just tap your tounge against your teeth when you start it. And the 'i' is as in ship, but pretty clipped. Probably also third tone.
So 'Show' as in 'ow' and then 'tsi'. Man, words are hard to communicate something that needs to be heard.
Okay, so 'Joshua' is pronounced....
Climate Preparedness and You
(In Mandarin)
"Father, why is that huge stranger sitting naked in the park?"
"Quiet son and don't make eye contact. He can sense fear."
Hi there, John again. As many of you know, Dianne and I frequently go out together dressed for completely different weather. I've always thought that was just a personal preference thing, but it appears I'm the odd one. Apparently the only thing stranger than a 6' tall American hanging out on the island is one doing so in shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt in 60 degree weather. I'll admit it was a little brisk out and after sitting in the park/playground for 30-60 minutes, I did start getting a little twitchy but compared to last time when it was 95 degrees and 176% humidity, I'm actually pretty happy. But in the interests of not freaking the locals out, I have bowed to peer pressure and purchased a lightweight sweater. Now the strange looks will be for the usual reasons at least.
On the subject of clothing: We were very prepared (ie not prepared) clothing-wise and planned to do laundry every few days so we didn't pack all that heavy. I spent considerable time thinking things through and went with 3 pairs of khaki shorts and one pair of jeans thinking that will give me plenty of flexibility. The catch is that if you want to actually wash said pair of jeans then it's sort of difficult to wear them at the same time and they frown on you showing up in underwear to pick up your laundry. So you wear them for one day and then don't have them the next day when you drop them off to be washed and then also don't have them the next day until you pick them up. And then say it's 55-60 degrees out... Well, see previous paragraph for how that works out.
"Father, why is that huge stranger sitting naked in the park?"
"Quiet son and don't make eye contact. He can sense fear."
Hi there, John again. As many of you know, Dianne and I frequently go out together dressed for completely different weather. I've always thought that was just a personal preference thing, but it appears I'm the odd one. Apparently the only thing stranger than a 6' tall American hanging out on the island is one doing so in shorts and a short sleeve t-shirt in 60 degree weather. I'll admit it was a little brisk out and after sitting in the park/playground for 30-60 minutes, I did start getting a little twitchy but compared to last time when it was 95 degrees and 176% humidity, I'm actually pretty happy. But in the interests of not freaking the locals out, I have bowed to peer pressure and purchased a lightweight sweater. Now the strange looks will be for the usual reasons at least.
On the subject of clothing: We were very prepared (ie not prepared) clothing-wise and planned to do laundry every few days so we didn't pack all that heavy. I spent considerable time thinking things through and went with 3 pairs of khaki shorts and one pair of jeans thinking that will give me plenty of flexibility. The catch is that if you want to actually wash said pair of jeans then it's sort of difficult to wear them at the same time and they frown on you showing up in underwear to pick up your laundry. So you wear them for one day and then don't have them the next day when you drop them off to be washed and then also don't have them the next day until you pick them up. And then say it's 55-60 degrees out... Well, see previous paragraph for how that works out.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Xiao Zi
For now we are calling him Xiao Zi, since that's what he's used to. We'll worry about transitioning later. Tonight, he nearly went out of his little mind when we put "Cars" on the DVD player. He kept holding up his Lightening McQueen to the screen and saying "Ta-ta" (car). I'll bet he showed us that his car was the same as the one on the screen about 50 times. Until we turned off the DVD player to go to bed.
He is a great sleeper! Once he's out, he's out. Unless his stomach is upset. He is also completely potty trained. Even with diarrhea, he has yet to have an accident. He got a tiny spot of poop on his underpants yesterday and was completely horrified. We had to go right away to change the underpants. He's adjusted very easily to western clothing, but he wants nothing to do with different shoes. We bought one pair similar to the ones he came to us with, and he only wants to wear those. He is uninterested in the sneakers with the flashing lights that we just bought... Maybe he'll change his mind eventually.
He has started playing in the play room and in our room. He doesn't run to me everytime John, or anyone else, looks at him. He still wants me to carry him everywhere, but he's definitely relaxing. He's all boy. Loves cars, and his Spiderman toy from McDonalds (it shoots a web when you press a button). Anything with buttons, anything that makes noise, anything you can throw, he's all over it.
He's been sharing food with me the past day or so, and today, started offering food from his plate to John, Nai-nai and Allie. Like Allie, he appears to have a limitless appetite. The buffet places that let kids eat free are probably happy to see us leave... they easily put away as much as some adults.
Playgroup friends, we miss you. Can't wait for you to meet Xiaozi.
Family, I love you. Dad, if you get a chance, will you let people know how to respond to posts?
Love and miss you all!!
He is a great sleeper! Once he's out, he's out. Unless his stomach is upset. He is also completely potty trained. Even with diarrhea, he has yet to have an accident. He got a tiny spot of poop on his underpants yesterday and was completely horrified. We had to go right away to change the underpants. He's adjusted very easily to western clothing, but he wants nothing to do with different shoes. We bought one pair similar to the ones he came to us with, and he only wants to wear those. He is uninterested in the sneakers with the flashing lights that we just bought... Maybe he'll change his mind eventually.
He has started playing in the play room and in our room. He doesn't run to me everytime John, or anyone else, looks at him. He still wants me to carry him everywhere, but he's definitely relaxing. He's all boy. Loves cars, and his Spiderman toy from McDonalds (it shoots a web when you press a button). Anything with buttons, anything that makes noise, anything you can throw, he's all over it.
He's been sharing food with me the past day or so, and today, started offering food from his plate to John, Nai-nai and Allie. Like Allie, he appears to have a limitless appetite. The buffet places that let kids eat free are probably happy to see us leave... they easily put away as much as some adults.
Playgroup friends, we miss you. Can't wait for you to meet Xiaozi.
Family, I love you. Dad, if you get a chance, will you let people know how to respond to posts?
Love and miss you all!!
Thursday PM
We learned a lot today. For one thing, Xiaozi does NOT like rain. The screaming and flailing when we got caught in a rainstorm with no umbrella was on the same scale as when we first left the building on Gotcha Day. Fortunately, Nai-nai and I had gotten separated from the group and had no idea where everyone else was as we were getting rained on, with Xiaozi screaming. Fun times.
Each day Xiaozi is getting more and more comfortable with us. He is collecting possessions at a furious rate (Lightening McQueen; Mickey Mouse phone that plays the most annoying music, but when he plays the music Mama dances, so we hear the music a lot, the little dog Kathie and Ella Jiao gave him, several sticker books, a Chinese flag, two Olympic mascot key chains, a three day old orange...) At least once a day he pulls everything out of his backpack and inventories it all. I think he can't believe it's all his.
We spent the day at the Six Banyons temple and the Chen family temple. Not all that much fun for the kids. Allie was very proud of herself for using the "squatty potty". The little ones were hungry and bored. I'd love to have time to explore the Chen family temple in depth, but that will have to be on another trip. After the temple, we got caught in the rain, and Xiaozi melted down. Poor baby. I wonder if he'd ever been in the rain before. Doesn't seem like it. Who knows what he was thinking.
He's talking more and more, and he's very patient with us as we try to figure out what he's saying. Between my limited Mandarin and hand gestures, he understands most of what I tell him. His little personality is starting to appear. He has dimples. And a very mischevious smile. Until today he had only been sharing that with me, but today the rest of the family started to see his smile and dimples. In the bathroom mirror, he pointed out "Xiaozi, Mama, Nai-nai and A-yi" He's very proud of himself when he makes us laugh.
He's willing to try any food we set in front of him. That's probably what is upsetting his stomach. He's had diarrhea for the past three days. Still has an appetite, and has no other symptoms, but he's eating Cheerios, raisins, Gummy bears, and lots of other things he probably hasn't seen before. Yesterday he was very happy when we ate at McDonalds (which he recognized from the sign and started saying "Mac Don al" very excitedly.) He is also familiar with "chocolee" (chocolate) and "culuh" (Coke). Commercials on tv? Can't imagine those foods are too prevalent at the orphanage.
Each day Xiaozi is getting more and more comfortable with us. He is collecting possessions at a furious rate (Lightening McQueen; Mickey Mouse phone that plays the most annoying music, but when he plays the music Mama dances, so we hear the music a lot, the little dog Kathie and Ella Jiao gave him, several sticker books, a Chinese flag, two Olympic mascot key chains, a three day old orange...) At least once a day he pulls everything out of his backpack and inventories it all. I think he can't believe it's all his.
We spent the day at the Six Banyons temple and the Chen family temple. Not all that much fun for the kids. Allie was very proud of herself for using the "squatty potty". The little ones were hungry and bored. I'd love to have time to explore the Chen family temple in depth, but that will have to be on another trip. After the temple, we got caught in the rain, and Xiaozi melted down. Poor baby. I wonder if he'd ever been in the rain before. Doesn't seem like it. Who knows what he was thinking.
He's talking more and more, and he's very patient with us as we try to figure out what he's saying. Between my limited Mandarin and hand gestures, he understands most of what I tell him. His little personality is starting to appear. He has dimples. And a very mischevious smile. Until today he had only been sharing that with me, but today the rest of the family started to see his smile and dimples. In the bathroom mirror, he pointed out "Xiaozi, Mama, Nai-nai and A-yi" He's very proud of himself when he makes us laugh.
He's willing to try any food we set in front of him. That's probably what is upsetting his stomach. He's had diarrhea for the past three days. Still has an appetite, and has no other symptoms, but he's eating Cheerios, raisins, Gummy bears, and lots of other things he probably hasn't seen before. Yesterday he was very happy when we ate at McDonalds (which he recognized from the sign and started saying "Mac Don al" very excitedly.) He is also familiar with "chocolee" (chocolate) and "culuh" (Coke). Commercials on tv? Can't imagine those foods are too prevalent at the orphanage.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
John's Deep Thoughts
Dianne's headed off to bed, so I'm going to hijack the blog for a bit here... This is just going to be a bit of aimless observation, so only read if you have nothing at all better to do like fold socks or watch grass grow. We'll return to your regularly scheduled updates another day.
Hong Kong Disneyland is odd. It's both standard Disney and also something very different. From the moment you get on property, it feels just like a trip to Disneyworld. The grounds are beautiful, the hotels inviting, the lighting is Disney, but then there's the eclectic mix of foods, the homicidal bus drivers, and the sea of all black-haired people. For whatever reason, I somehow envisioned that no one local came here and it was just there for the occasional tourist passing by, but it was pretty busy and it was obviously (and pleasantly) geared toward the local crowd. People love getting their pictures taken with the characters no matter where you are, but take the stateside kid/adult ratio of people waiting in line for their turn with Mickey and flip it the other way around. Strangest of all was the complete lack of anything to do at night. I guess they haven't quite made it to the same all-encompassing wallet-draining level that is a stay on property at Disneyworld, but the parks close at 7pm and other than the two restaurants at the hotel staying open later, and one bar with a bunch of people nursing drinks while watching Lilo & Stitch in Mandarin, there really wasn't a thing to do. Epcot closes at 9pm and you can get a reservation up till 9:45pm, but here the last reservation at any restaurant in the park was 6pm. Even the counter service and popcorn places were closed down 2o minutes before park closing. I'd really like to give you folks some of my money, I just can't figure out where to do it.
Renting an internet terminal in a high-end hotel is a good way to plow through money though. About $25/hour in 15 minute increments. Granted, I could probably step outside the hotel, throw a rock, and hit 4 internet cafes, but convenience has its price. Just didn't expect it to be quite that steep.
The falling price of the US dollar sucks. Last time we were here it was about 8 RMB to the dollar and now it's 6.7 and in addition to that Chinese prosperity has tacked on a wee bit of inflation so definitely noticing a difference this time around. That's not to say that things aren't still very much on the affordable side, just not so much the "oh my good lord" level that we remember from before.
Having an upset stomach and being surrounded by excellent food really really really sucks. I managed to make it through breakfast on arrival day before cratering. And man did I really like that breakfast. At that point I could have just hung out in the buffet all day long and been very happy. Later in the day, just walking by made my stomach lurch. Nothing bad and not like I'm trapped in the middle of the Amazon with a bout of dysentery or anything, but not exactly fun. Thankfully as of Tuesday evening that seems to be getting better, so should be all set for the biblical-level illnesses to come.
Adopting a 3 year old is a pretty dicey endeavor. I don't know that I've ever seen such a high followed so soon by such a low. Dianne touched on it in her post, but let's look at this one in detail: You're sitting in The Room waiting for The Moment (with a 4 year old who is completely crazed out of her and your mind) and you just happen to glance out the door and see a small face being led by the hand. Your brain freezes for a split second and then someone says "I think that's him" and then as you look closer, he turns and points at you and says "ba ba" and points at Dianne and says "ma ma" and then says it again in that incredibly satisfying "mama-baba" one-word way and then blows you kisses. Oh my goodness. It just takes your breath away. In one of the most nervous moments, life has just given you a gift. Wow, he knows us! Dianne's crazy idea of putting together a picture book of us and sending it over actually worked (we don't think Allie ever saw hers) and someone's actually taken the time to show him those pictures enough, that *he recognized us on sight*! So this is going to go wonderfully! We're not going to have the catatonic kid. Nor the screaming one. Nor the indifferent one.
And then the screaming starts. Man, you just can't prepare yourself for that. I've seen it with several of the kids last time around, including one poor family where the girl couldn't be in the same room as the dad without screaming. For a week. But it's a whole different ballgame when you're the one who needs to comfort that screaming kid. And it just can't be done. Not yet anyway. And your daughter has her hands over her ears and can't understand why he won't stop. Then you're finally ready to get out of the building (which those of you who have been here know how much you want to do that) and you go down to the lobby and he sees his nanny/teacher. And she's leaving. And she's not taking him with her. Oh wow. So let's take the screaming up about 10 levels and add some flailing and escape artist moves to it. Thankfully he screamed himself to sleep on the bus ride back over to the hotel, but that was rough.
As everyone knows, it of course works out. We've already seen him smile, act silly, let us take him to the potty (Daddy was brave and took first crack at that), eat, and scream some more. But whether he knows who Mama is yet or not, he absolutely knows she's his person. He reaches for her, he puts his arms around her neck and holds tight, and what used to cause screaming now just causes a little heavy breathing and he quiets down quickly. Needs are being met, emotions are being soothed, and bonding is underway. And I'll get my turn too, I'm not in a rush and I'm not going anywhere. We'll be a family and this will eventually be just memories and things to be discussed in everyone's therapy sessions, but man what a first couple of days. But what a tease that first moment was.
Hong Kong Disneyland is odd. It's both standard Disney and also something very different. From the moment you get on property, it feels just like a trip to Disneyworld. The grounds are beautiful, the hotels inviting, the lighting is Disney, but then there's the eclectic mix of foods, the homicidal bus drivers, and the sea of all black-haired people. For whatever reason, I somehow envisioned that no one local came here and it was just there for the occasional tourist passing by, but it was pretty busy and it was obviously (and pleasantly) geared toward the local crowd. People love getting their pictures taken with the characters no matter where you are, but take the stateside kid/adult ratio of people waiting in line for their turn with Mickey and flip it the other way around. Strangest of all was the complete lack of anything to do at night. I guess they haven't quite made it to the same all-encompassing wallet-draining level that is a stay on property at Disneyworld, but the parks close at 7pm and other than the two restaurants at the hotel staying open later, and one bar with a bunch of people nursing drinks while watching Lilo & Stitch in Mandarin, there really wasn't a thing to do. Epcot closes at 9pm and you can get a reservation up till 9:45pm, but here the last reservation at any restaurant in the park was 6pm. Even the counter service and popcorn places were closed down 2o minutes before park closing. I'd really like to give you folks some of my money, I just can't figure out where to do it.
Renting an internet terminal in a high-end hotel is a good way to plow through money though. About $25/hour in 15 minute increments. Granted, I could probably step outside the hotel, throw a rock, and hit 4 internet cafes, but convenience has its price. Just didn't expect it to be quite that steep.
The falling price of the US dollar sucks. Last time we were here it was about 8 RMB to the dollar and now it's 6.7 and in addition to that Chinese prosperity has tacked on a wee bit of inflation so definitely noticing a difference this time around. That's not to say that things aren't still very much on the affordable side, just not so much the "oh my good lord" level that we remember from before.
Having an upset stomach and being surrounded by excellent food really really really sucks. I managed to make it through breakfast on arrival day before cratering. And man did I really like that breakfast. At that point I could have just hung out in the buffet all day long and been very happy. Later in the day, just walking by made my stomach lurch. Nothing bad and not like I'm trapped in the middle of the Amazon with a bout of dysentery or anything, but not exactly fun. Thankfully as of Tuesday evening that seems to be getting better, so should be all set for the biblical-level illnesses to come.
Adopting a 3 year old is a pretty dicey endeavor. I don't know that I've ever seen such a high followed so soon by such a low. Dianne touched on it in her post, but let's look at this one in detail: You're sitting in The Room waiting for The Moment (with a 4 year old who is completely crazed out of her and your mind) and you just happen to glance out the door and see a small face being led by the hand. Your brain freezes for a split second and then someone says "I think that's him" and then as you look closer, he turns and points at you and says "ba ba" and points at Dianne and says "ma ma" and then says it again in that incredibly satisfying "mama-baba" one-word way and then blows you kisses. Oh my goodness. It just takes your breath away. In one of the most nervous moments, life has just given you a gift. Wow, he knows us! Dianne's crazy idea of putting together a picture book of us and sending it over actually worked (we don't think Allie ever saw hers) and someone's actually taken the time to show him those pictures enough, that *he recognized us on sight*! So this is going to go wonderfully! We're not going to have the catatonic kid. Nor the screaming one. Nor the indifferent one.
And then the screaming starts. Man, you just can't prepare yourself for that. I've seen it with several of the kids last time around, including one poor family where the girl couldn't be in the same room as the dad without screaming. For a week. But it's a whole different ballgame when you're the one who needs to comfort that screaming kid. And it just can't be done. Not yet anyway. And your daughter has her hands over her ears and can't understand why he won't stop. Then you're finally ready to get out of the building (which those of you who have been here know how much you want to do that) and you go down to the lobby and he sees his nanny/teacher. And she's leaving. And she's not taking him with her. Oh wow. So let's take the screaming up about 10 levels and add some flailing and escape artist moves to it. Thankfully he screamed himself to sleep on the bus ride back over to the hotel, but that was rough.
As everyone knows, it of course works out. We've already seen him smile, act silly, let us take him to the potty (Daddy was brave and took first crack at that), eat, and scream some more. But whether he knows who Mama is yet or not, he absolutely knows she's his person. He reaches for her, he puts his arms around her neck and holds tight, and what used to cause screaming now just causes a little heavy breathing and he quiets down quickly. Needs are being met, emotions are being soothed, and bonding is underway. And I'll get my turn too, I'm not in a rush and I'm not going anywhere. We'll be a family and this will eventually be just memories and things to be discussed in everyone's therapy sessions, but man what a first couple of days. But what a tease that first moment was.
Tuesday (preview)
It's going better. Joshua has decided that he would like to become one of my appendages. He won't go to anyone else, and my back and hip are killing me. But he lifts up his arms and asks me to pick him up, crys if I look like I'm leaving. He's starting to talk to me. More about Tuesday after I get some sleep!
THE Day
(Monday)
Allie was up again at 5am this morning so we didn't get a much-needed chance to sleep in before our life changes, but we were mostly functional by the time we made it down to the buffet breakfast. John's stomach is still very upset and he barely ate anything at breakfast, which is very unusual behavior for John at a buffet. Allie is pretty fussy today and whether that's from the lack of sleep, the travel, some sense of what's to come, or all of the above, there's no way to be sure, but it's an added challenge on the day.
This morning we went to the playroom, which we never visited in 2005. Mostly baby toys, and a TV playing cartoons (yes, Allie was very happy), but it was nice to meet some other families. Allie almost immediately made two friends, who she played with off and on, while staring at the TV like a zombie. Back to the room for an early nap, so we'd be rested for Gotcha moment.
We headed over to the Civil Affairs office with our other two families, and another group. While we were waiting in our cramped little room, Joshua went by with his teacher. He saw us and said "Mama!" "Baba!" and started blowing us kisses. That was the high for the day. Later when they brought him in, he was fine with us, until his teacher had to leave. He started to get upset, but really went around the bend later when we were in the lobby and he saw her leave the building. He was pretty hysterical at that point. Hard to witness his pain and anguish, but on the good side, he was obviously bonded with her, so he has had some love and attention in his life. When we traveled in 2005 to get Allie some of our travel group mates had children who grieved for several days, so we had an idea what that could be like, but boy is it different when it's YOUR child.
While John worked on paperwork, Allie, Nai-nai, Joshua and I went back up to our hotel room. He was quiet, but calm, looking through his backpack. He immediately fell in love with the Lightening McQueen car that we had brought, and so far he hasn't let it out of his sight. We had pizza (Papa John's, very traditional Chinese) for dinner, and he ate a few pepperonis, but not much else. He was adamant about keeping his clothes on for bed, but we managed to get his shoes off, with much screaming and crying. He had a pretty good crying fit before falling asleep, when he realized he was staying with us to sleep, but he slept though the night at least as well as Allie did.
I know you all have been dying to hear how we're doing. Sorry we haven't been able to post before this. We are all exhausted.
Allie was up again at 5am this morning so we didn't get a much-needed chance to sleep in before our life changes, but we were mostly functional by the time we made it down to the buffet breakfast. John's stomach is still very upset and he barely ate anything at breakfast, which is very unusual behavior for John at a buffet. Allie is pretty fussy today and whether that's from the lack of sleep, the travel, some sense of what's to come, or all of the above, there's no way to be sure, but it's an added challenge on the day.
This morning we went to the playroom, which we never visited in 2005. Mostly baby toys, and a TV playing cartoons (yes, Allie was very happy), but it was nice to meet some other families. Allie almost immediately made two friends, who she played with off and on, while staring at the TV like a zombie. Back to the room for an early nap, so we'd be rested for Gotcha moment.
We headed over to the Civil Affairs office with our other two families, and another group. While we were waiting in our cramped little room, Joshua went by with his teacher. He saw us and said "Mama!" "Baba!" and started blowing us kisses. That was the high for the day. Later when they brought him in, he was fine with us, until his teacher had to leave. He started to get upset, but really went around the bend later when we were in the lobby and he saw her leave the building. He was pretty hysterical at that point. Hard to witness his pain and anguish, but on the good side, he was obviously bonded with her, so he has had some love and attention in his life. When we traveled in 2005 to get Allie some of our travel group mates had children who grieved for several days, so we had an idea what that could be like, but boy is it different when it's YOUR child.
While John worked on paperwork, Allie, Nai-nai, Joshua and I went back up to our hotel room. He was quiet, but calm, looking through his backpack. He immediately fell in love with the Lightening McQueen car that we had brought, and so far he hasn't let it out of his sight. We had pizza (Papa John's, very traditional Chinese) for dinner, and he ate a few pepperonis, but not much else. He was adamant about keeping his clothes on for bed, but we managed to get his shoes off, with much screaming and crying. He had a pretty good crying fit before falling asleep, when he realized he was staying with us to sleep, but he slept though the night at least as well as Allie did.
I know you all have been dying to hear how we're doing. Sorry we haven't been able to post before this. We are all exhausted.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Sunday in Guangzhou
Allie slept in til 6:30! Don't know if it's because she was snuggled in bed with Mama, or because there was less snoring in the room, but she got a good night's sleep. We got up and had breakfast at the buffet. Lots of adopting families, but also more Chinese families and business people than I remember from last time. And many of the kids are older, not just babies. After breakfast we headed out to look around some more. When we got outside, it was cold out! So much nicer than the sauna it felt like 4 yrs ago. We went back to Lucky Tailor and bought an adorable pink sweater with ladybug buttons for Allie. Our new best friend Grace sewed one of the buttons back on while we asked her the prices of other items. Still not pushy at all. I bought Allie a gorgeous outfit, white with red roses. And I saw several other things I want to go back for. I need to make a good list of the things I want to buy to put away for Allie and Joshua, and not get too carried away buying other stuff... However, I did get measured for a Mandarin-style shirt in my huge American size. The sweet tailor lady was horribly embarrassed when I told her that, no I wasn't wearing a money bag around my waist, it was just me and my jeans. I made sure she knew I wasn't upset with her. I mean, it is my fault I'm pretty big around the middle, not hers. Allie picked out the fabric for my shirt: pale pink with phoenixes. (only about $30 for a custom made silk shirt. I could probably get a better deal further away from the hotel, but I really like the people at that shop.)
We had seen a playground the day before while we were wandering, so we headed over there to let Allie get some energy out of her system. The locals were fascinated with this obviously Chinese girl who doesn't speak or understand much Mandarin. She played on a see-saw with a couple of different kids. (She was very gentle when a really little boy got on.) She climbed, slid, laughed and played for quite a while. The other parents stared curiously at us, until Allie started playing with the other kids. Then they would smile at her, at us, giving her a thumbs-up when she did something nice or brave. Families are families, and kids are kids...
We took a cab to Carrefour (the French version of Walmart) and did some sight seeing and a little shopping. The store was huge and intimidating. Just figuring out how to get in was an adventure. Allie was fading fast, so we checked out and headed back to the hotel for a nap. In case anyone is wondering, China (or Carrefour in China) is way ahead of us in the recycling and conservation arena when it comes to stores. If you want your items bagged, you have to pay for the bags. Just like some Austin stores has been talking about doing, but haven't switched to yet.
After nap, Allie, Nai-Nai and I went to get our laundry. About an hour and $100 later, we left with our laundry (quite cheap, about $15 for 40 items) and several souvenirs, and a vow to never go back to that pushy saleslady's store again. I got a jade happy family ball, an abacus for Allie (she was fascinated and couldn't stop playing with it), a silver bell bracelet for Joshua (to scare away bad spirits), a silver chain for Allie, a jade monkey for Allie and a jade Rooster for Joshua.
That evening we were supposed to meet our guide, Judy, and our travel group for the first time. We dutifully headed over to Lucy's Bar and Grill and waited for them. After about 20 minutes, we went ahead and ate. Good thing we did, cause no one ever showed up. The poor restaurant manager had a whole room reserved for our party. We thought it was very rude for Judy not to call and let him know that he could use those tables. We also wondered how and when we would finally meet up with Judy, since are scheduled to get Joshua tomorrow right after lunch! She did call our room and tell us to meet her tomorrow in the elevator lobby, half an hour before Gotcha Moment. Wonder how we'll recognize her. Not quite the same experience as last time, with our fabulous guide, who took such good care of all of us, but especially the big sisters before, during and after we were all united with our babies.
We had seen a playground the day before while we were wandering, so we headed over there to let Allie get some energy out of her system. The locals were fascinated with this obviously Chinese girl who doesn't speak or understand much Mandarin. She played on a see-saw with a couple of different kids. (She was very gentle when a really little boy got on.) She climbed, slid, laughed and played for quite a while. The other parents stared curiously at us, until Allie started playing with the other kids. Then they would smile at her, at us, giving her a thumbs-up when she did something nice or brave. Families are families, and kids are kids...
We took a cab to Carrefour (the French version of Walmart) and did some sight seeing and a little shopping. The store was huge and intimidating. Just figuring out how to get in was an adventure. Allie was fading fast, so we checked out and headed back to the hotel for a nap. In case anyone is wondering, China (or Carrefour in China) is way ahead of us in the recycling and conservation arena when it comes to stores. If you want your items bagged, you have to pay for the bags. Just like some Austin stores has been talking about doing, but haven't switched to yet.
After nap, Allie, Nai-Nai and I went to get our laundry. About an hour and $100 later, we left with our laundry (quite cheap, about $15 for 40 items) and several souvenirs, and a vow to never go back to that pushy saleslady's store again. I got a jade happy family ball, an abacus for Allie (she was fascinated and couldn't stop playing with it), a silver bell bracelet for Joshua (to scare away bad spirits), a silver chain for Allie, a jade monkey for Allie and a jade Rooster for Joshua.
That evening we were supposed to meet our guide, Judy, and our travel group for the first time. We dutifully headed over to Lucy's Bar and Grill and waited for them. After about 20 minutes, we went ahead and ate. Good thing we did, cause no one ever showed up. The poor restaurant manager had a whole room reserved for our party. We thought it was very rude for Judy not to call and let him know that he could use those tables. We also wondered how and when we would finally meet up with Judy, since are scheduled to get Joshua tomorrow right after lunch! She did call our room and tell us to meet her tomorrow in the elevator lobby, half an hour before Gotcha Moment. Wonder how we'll recognize her. Not quite the same experience as last time, with our fabulous guide, who took such good care of all of us, but especially the big sisters before, during and after we were all united with our babies.
On to Guangzhou
Saturday morning we got up (Allie was up at 4am again) and had one last breakfast at the yummy buffet. John started to get an upset stomach, hoping it's just a minor thing.
We took a taxi to the train station (luggage held in the trunk with bungee cords). The taxi driver was very nice and so helpful. He helped us check in our luggage, and he told us how much the tickets should be. He really took us under his wing. The adults all sort of dozed off and on, while Allie talked and played. She finally took a quick cat nap just before we arrived in Guangzhou.
The White Swan had a desk at the exit of the train station, and we were able to jump on a shuttle and get whisked away to the White Swan with no effort at all on our part. We got to the hotel in the early afternoon. Again, we were able to check right in to our rooms. We dropped off our stuff and headed out to look around. We took our laundry and walked for blocks, looking at shops, and trying to find the place where we did our laundry last time we were here. It had moved, so we ended up taking our laundry to a shop right across from the White Swan, China Doll. One of the salesgirls was so pushy, we never wanted to go back. She really didn't want us to leave the store without buying something. Unfortunately she's holding our laundry hostage, so we'll have to go back. On the other hand, the greeter at one store (can't remember the name right now), was very sweet, and told us to come back and compare the laundry prices from China doll to his prices, and that he was sure he'd beat their prices. And the greeter at Lucky Tailor let us browse, and chatted, but wasn't pushy at all. She asked about Allie, we told her about Joshua, and she was just friendly and nice. We'll be going back there for sure.
Had dinner at the White Swan buffet. John's still not feeling well, and Allie is still a basket case, but the food was good. Then we headed back to the room, about 7pm. I got Allie in her pjs, read a chapter of her book, told her I was going to put on my pjs and then give her a snuggle. By the time I had my pjs on, she was already out. Hopefully she'll get a good night's sleep tonight!
We took a taxi to the train station (luggage held in the trunk with bungee cords). The taxi driver was very nice and so helpful. He helped us check in our luggage, and he told us how much the tickets should be. He really took us under his wing. The adults all sort of dozed off and on, while Allie talked and played. She finally took a quick cat nap just before we arrived in Guangzhou.
The White Swan had a desk at the exit of the train station, and we were able to jump on a shuttle and get whisked away to the White Swan with no effort at all on our part. We got to the hotel in the early afternoon. Again, we were able to check right in to our rooms. We dropped off our stuff and headed out to look around. We took our laundry and walked for blocks, looking at shops, and trying to find the place where we did our laundry last time we were here. It had moved, so we ended up taking our laundry to a shop right across from the White Swan, China Doll. One of the salesgirls was so pushy, we never wanted to go back. She really didn't want us to leave the store without buying something. Unfortunately she's holding our laundry hostage, so we'll have to go back. On the other hand, the greeter at one store (can't remember the name right now), was very sweet, and told us to come back and compare the laundry prices from China doll to his prices, and that he was sure he'd beat their prices. And the greeter at Lucky Tailor let us browse, and chatted, but wasn't pushy at all. She asked about Allie, we told her about Joshua, and she was just friendly and nice. We'll be going back there for sure.
Had dinner at the White Swan buffet. John's still not feeling well, and Allie is still a basket case, but the food was good. Then we headed back to the room, about 7pm. I got Allie in her pjs, read a chapter of her book, told her I was going to put on my pjs and then give her a snuggle. By the time I had my pjs on, she was already out. Hopefully she'll get a good night's sleep tonight!
More on Disney
OK. I had to rush through our plane trip and first day at Disney. A few additional observations: coach for 20+ hours is not cool. Disney is Disney. The maids in the Hong Kong Disneyland could teach the maids at the Orlando DisneyWorld a few things about making a bed. (For example, how to use a fitted sheet), however, the bus drivers here are much less cheery and chatty than the Orlando bus drivers. John and Allie loved the hotel and the grounds. They had a small playground that Nai-Nai took Allie to one morning, and John walked the grounds between the two hotels.
It's been sunny, and warm in the sun, but quite pleasant in the shade. There's supposed to be a cool front on the way, and you can feel it in the breeze. Unfortunately it's smoggy, and while we *think* there's a Buddha carved in a mountain we can see from our room, we can't quite make it out...
Our second day at Disney, we had a quick breakfast at the little cafe (instead of the yummy and outrageously expensive buffet) and headed over to the park. We rode the merry-go-round, hit the Buzz Lightyear ride/game several more times, saw the Golden Mickeys show (a live show with lots of characters from the movies, only shown at this Disney park), rode the non-bumper cars again. Allie wanted to ride the cars before we left the park for lunch and a nap, but she was was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open. She threw the mother of all tantrums, and we got concerned looks from lots of people. I'd love to know what they were thinking... there were NOT a lot of Caucasian families with Asian children around (I don't think we saw one other family like ours), and they were probably afraid we were trying to kidnap her or something like that. One man looked ready to call Security. Fortunately, she exhausted herself, and was asleep before we got back to the hotel.
She still really hasn't adjusted to the change in time zones. We're hoping she will before Joshua arrives...
She was happy to get her picture taken with several characters. The characters are everywhere in this park, and the lines are so short, it isn't a hassle to get a character photo. While we waited in line for Goofy (to come back from a break), Allie made friends with a little girl who was dressed almost identically to Allie. When Goofy finally came back, the girls had their pictures taken together with him. They were both so excited, and sort of egged each other on in the giggly crazy department. It was pretty funny. They could only understand a few word the other was saying, but they were definitely friends. After we left, Allie told me that she wanted to invite the "the pink girl" (she was wearing a pink top) to her birthday party. : )
It's been sunny, and warm in the sun, but quite pleasant in the shade. There's supposed to be a cool front on the way, and you can feel it in the breeze. Unfortunately it's smoggy, and while we *think* there's a Buddha carved in a mountain we can see from our room, we can't quite make it out...
Our second day at Disney, we had a quick breakfast at the little cafe (instead of the yummy and outrageously expensive buffet) and headed over to the park. We rode the merry-go-round, hit the Buzz Lightyear ride/game several more times, saw the Golden Mickeys show (a live show with lots of characters from the movies, only shown at this Disney park), rode the non-bumper cars again. Allie wanted to ride the cars before we left the park for lunch and a nap, but she was was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open. She threw the mother of all tantrums, and we got concerned looks from lots of people. I'd love to know what they were thinking... there were NOT a lot of Caucasian families with Asian children around (I don't think we saw one other family like ours), and they were probably afraid we were trying to kidnap her or something like that. One man looked ready to call Security. Fortunately, she exhausted herself, and was asleep before we got back to the hotel.
She still really hasn't adjusted to the change in time zones. We're hoping she will before Joshua arrives...
She was happy to get her picture taken with several characters. The characters are everywhere in this park, and the lines are so short, it isn't a hassle to get a character photo. While we waited in line for Goofy (to come back from a break), Allie made friends with a little girl who was dressed almost identically to Allie. When Goofy finally came back, the girls had their pictures taken together with him. They were both so excited, and sort of egged each other on in the giggly crazy department. It was pretty funny. They could only understand a few word the other was saying, but they were definitely friends. After we left, Allie told me that she wanted to invite the "the pink girl" (she was wearing a pink top) to her birthday party. : )
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